


The winner takes it all

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: B99 Fall 2019 Fic Exchange, F/M, Fluff, Halloween, Kid Fic, halloween heists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-02-01 00:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: “Heist! Heist! Heist!” she continues to chant as they wander around the neighbourhood, candy bags held tight as they adhere to Amy’s pre-made chart of whose doors they’re allowed to knock on.And Amy’s already worrying about the impending tantrum when Jake whispers, “We should put a little fake heist on for her.”And so they end up in the living room, Jake and Amy grinning widely at Mia, as Jake holds Mr Zebra up high and Amy declares, “The winner needs to find and hold onto Mr Zebra until the clock says three, do you remember what the number three looks like Mia?”
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 15
Kudos: 59





	The winner takes it all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yaboring_yabasic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboring_yabasic/gifts).

> This is written for yaboring-yabasic, thank you for the prompt, hope you enjoy!

Amy knows she’s one of Miss Ryan’s favourite parents. Of course it’s a disadvantage that she doesn’t get as much face-time as the mums who get to do regular pick-ups and drop offs, but she likes to think she makes up for lack of quantity with quality. She volunteers to help out on school trips, science fairs, sports days and other activities and projects whenever she can, along with helping to organise them, a binder ready for every eventuality. She’s also very engaged in Mia’s learning and development (she also has binders for this but doesn’t show these to teachers anymore after previous incidents where they felt like Amy was telling them how to do their jobs) and tries to attend all of the little award ceremonies (or make sure Jake attends the ones she can’t).

There are a couple of marks on her record, like the one time she had to pull out of helping with a play at the last minute due to a break in a case, and Jake had also been undercover that week, she had gotten Rosa to attend. And while Amy knew Mia was more than happy with that (probably happier than actually seeing her parents there, who praised everything she did and therefore were not difficult to impress, whereas impressing her favourite tia Rosa actually meant she had done something that was worth being impressed over) she had felt Miss Ryan’s judgement. There was also the time that she had gotten over-excited about a project and sent too many emails at once. But Amy has used her Most-likely-to-befriend-a-school-administrator spirit to maintain a good rapport with Miss Ryan and has regular discussions with her about Mia’s progress.

She has no reason to suspect this discussion will be any different to the usual ones. Okay, so it’s in person, which is a little out of the ordinary, especially at this point in the year where there aren’t any parent-teacher conferences and there’s nothing coming up that needs planning. But Amy thinks it’s probably just about something good Mia has done. She’s not worried.

Well, she’s not worried until Miss Ryan asks, in a gentle voice,

“Are you and Jake having problems of some kind?”

Amy tenses and Jake sits up straighter in his chair.

“No. Not at all, why, what’s going on?”

“Mia has expressed upset that you are making her choose between the two of you…”

“That’s… I don’t understand… We’re not fighting and even if we were… we would never!”

“…She said something about a Halloween Heist.”

“Oh.”

Amy’s immensely shocked and horrified (both that they’ve clearly caused Mia a lot of distress with their questionable actions and that she’s definitely not going to be Miss Ryan’s favourite parent anymore).

“I am so sorry about this, of course we won’t involve Mia in the heist any further and we’ll have a discussion with her about this whole thing.”

Jake says, “Actually we won’t take part in the heist at all this year and that way we won’t even be tempted.”

His grin is too bright and Amy already knows where his head is (that he’s a terrible father just like his father was) but that’s a ledge she’ll have to talk him off later. Now, her focus is on Miss Ryan, and as much as she hates the idea of forgoing the heist altogether, Mia’s teacher is frowning a little less and so Amy reluctantly agrees. 

“Miss Ryan, we really are very sorry about this, I understand that some of our choices here have been questionable, and of course we take full responsibility and will do our best to fix the damage, but I hope you will give me a chance to explain the whole story. I really think that with full context you will understand a lot better,” Amy’s tone is slightly pleading and she gives Mia’s teacher an imploring look.

Miss Ryan has the same look on her face she gets when Amy has a New Plan that they both know is going to be very long.

“Of course, go ahead.”

And Amy sends her an apologetic look, because it is a long story, starting seven whole years ago.

\----

_Seven years earlier_

After a long day of baby-friendly Halloween craft activities and trick-or-treating, Amy’s lounging on the couch, drinking coffee and waiting for her energy to pick back up: it’s heist time. All they have to do is wait for the baby-sitter. And then her cell starts ringing. She answers to the sound of coughing and spluttering, followed by the baby-sitter saying in a weak tinny voice,

“Ms Santiago, I’m very sorry, I’m sick.”

“So sorry to hear that sweetheart, I hope you feel better soon,” Amy says, hoping she’s masking her disappointment appropriately. She walks into the bedroom, where Jake is pretending he’s not doing something related to his heist-plan, “Baby-sitter’s sick.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So do you want to flip for who stays and who goes?”

“We should both stay,” Jake says.

Amy smiles. “That’s sweet, but there’s no reason for us to both miss out.”

Jake sends her a beaming smile in return.

A moment later, an idea strikes, and they both simultaneously say,

“Wait, did you plan this!?”

And

“You did this didn’t you!?”

“Me?” Jake retorts incredulous, “You’re the one who got a ‘phone call’ from the babysitter.”

“Yeah, a call clearly arranged by you! How much did you pay her to cancel?”

“Nothing. Because clearly the babysitter didn’t even call you.”

“Let’s call her back and find out.”

“Oh please, do you think I don’t know that you would have planned for that.” 

“I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

“Yes, we are at an impasse,” Jake says with an eyebrow raise that says, look I used that big word correctly, we both know what that means, Amy just rolls her eyes in response, “I guess we’ll have to flip for it after all.”

They both inspect the coin thoroughly. Amy flips it and Jake calls, “Heads.”

“It’s heads,” Amy says, disappointment purposefully bleeding into her tone, if this is part of Jake’s plan she’s not letting him get away with it guilt-free.

“Yes! ...Wait; this is part of your plan too, isn’t it?” Jake accuses, “You want us all to think you’re not playing, just so you can go behind our backs again! Well I’m not falling for it! You go, I’m staying right here!”

“Or maybe that’s exactly what your plan is! I’m staying here.”

“I guess we’ll just have to both stay here then!”

“Yeah, I guess we will!”

They pause, both frowning.

“We could take her with us?”

“Ooh, yes. Let’s do that.” 

They draw up a timetable of when they will take turns looking after her, it requires a lot of negotiation, mainly over the last half an hour of the heist (which they’ve ended up having to split into six minute slots, Jake has Mia for the final twelve minutes in exchange for Amy having her for the first half hour of the heist). 

“This is the final schedule,” Amy says, “there will be no deviations, except that we are each allowed one emergency handover which can be used at any time up until the final hour of the heist.”

Amy, never one to forgo an opportunity, discretely plants a bug on Mia. Mia happily toddles near Amy, not understanding what’s going on but clearly enjoying the energy of the whole game. She almost regrets having to hand her over to Jake (she’s so adorable to watch). 

As soon as Jake hands her back, Amy shuffles them to the evidence lock-up, retrieving the bug, and begins listening, she grins. Oh this is perfect! She laughs, loud and excited. And Mia joins her, clapping her hands together like only a toddler can.

“You’ve done very good work,” she tells her daughter, “well done.”

Mia claps more, squealing with laughter.

It’s then that Amy hears it; Jake planting a recording device of his own. She shakes her head, immediately rewinding and messing with the recording, she can definitely use this to spread misinformation, she smiles at Mia, telling her, “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

_Six years earlier_

“Heist!” Mia says the next year, eyeing the Halloween decorations as Jake puts her in her tiger costume.

“Heist! Heist! Heist!” she continues to chant as they wander around the neighbourhood, candy bags held tight as they adhere to Amy’s pre-made chart of whose doors they’re allowed to knock on. 

And Amy’s already worrying about the impending tantrum when Jake whispers, “We should put a little fake heist on for her.”

And so they end up in the living room, Jake and Amy grinning widely at Mia, as Jake holds Mr Zebra up high and Amy declares, “The winner needs to find and hold onto Mr Zebra until the clock says three, do you remember what the number three looks like Mia?”

Mia nods vigorously and enthusiastically.

Jake and Amy don’t put much effort into pretending to look, after all Mia is too busy running around looking for her stuffed toy to notice or care.

And later, she points to the three on the clock as she proudly clutches Mr Zebra.

Her parents clap and cheer. They tell Mia they love her, and put their coats on just as the babysitter takes her own off. 

And their daughter is young enough that most kids her age wouldn’t question what’s happening here. But unfortunately, little Mia has inherited all of her parents detective instincts.

Her face falls.

“Heist?” Mia asks; her voice small.

But she doesn’t start bawling or throwing a tantrum, both things her parents could deal with. Instead she gives them a deeply disappointed look, that’s equal parts hurt someone-just-poked-his-abandonment-issues Jake (that Amy is powerless in the face of) and stressed an-authority-figure-expressed-dissatisfaction-in-her Amy (that Jake is powerless in the face of).

And so they cancel the baby-sitter and they both search her for recording devices three times before leaving.

Amy’s too focused on her plan to see how it happens, but somehow the heist ends like this:

Jake successfully gets Mia to run across the room to him carrying the heist object (a blue shoe). Amy’s enthralled- her heart filling up as she watches her daughter run with joy and determination. And as Jake swirls Mia around in celebration, both laughing a little uproariously, Amy thinks it’s almost worth losing.

_Five years earlier_

Mia’s just as excited the following year and this time they don’t even bother booking a baby-sitter, it’s understood that she’ll be coming with them.

Two thirds into the heist Mia gets her hands on the prize, a gold medallion, and starts caterwauling any time anyone even tries to take it off her.

“This is cheating. We should disqualify both of them,” Rosa says, pointing at Jake and Amy.

“I have nothing to do with this, if anyone should be disqualified it should be Jake!” Amy exclaims.

“Let’s just get the thing off of her,” Jake says, waving a peanut butter cup in her face, and then Mr Zebra, and then an Ipad showing her favourite episode of Doc Mcstuffins. Mia doesn’t budge. “Mia,” her husband says in a sing-song voice, “if you give me the shiny thing I will take you to Disneyland.”

“Jake!” Amy admonishes.

“Don’t act like you didn’t start this,” Jake replies.

“It’s got to be Amy!” Charles says.

“Unless Jake’s bluffing and he’s promised to actually only take her to Disneyland if she doesn’t give it up,” Rosa says.

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s still a baby!” Terry says, “She’s probably just more interested in the shiny thing.”

“Or maybe Terry’s behind this whole thing, he got to her, just like he got to Cheddar,” Amy says.

And so the argument goes on and on and on.

Mia hands over the medallion to Amy with a minute left on the clock.

_Four years earlier _

“I’m a big girl and I’m going to decide what I do this year,” Mia states, and then quoting one of her favourite TV characters says, “I am a strong, indepeppendent, team player!”

“Of course you are sweetheart, it’s pronounced independent by the way.”

“In-de-pen-dent.”

“Very good. Well done.”

“What’s your plan mummy?” she asks.

“Daddy, I’m secretly on your team,” Mia whispers way-too-loud, but both of them pretend Amy hasn’t heard it even though they know she has.

“Mummy, I told daddy I’m secretly on his team but I’m actually secretly on your team!” Again, she’s well within Jake’s hearing range and the both of them smile indulgently.

_Three years earlier_

Mia is solidly team Jake. They make the best team: they are going to win. She has a little binder and everything. She says with her binders and his ridiculous spontaneous (and yes, she can pronounce it correctly) ideas they will be unstoppable.

_Two years earlier_

Mia is solidly team Amy (because daddy is a loser who made her lose).

_One year earlier_

Mia is solidly team Jake until an hour before the end when- in an act of ruthless betrayal- she reveals she’s been on team Amy all along.

\----

“I see,” Miss Ryan says once the tale is done, seemingly happier now, “That makes more sense. I know that to adults it may seem like it’s just teams for a game, but children, especially at Mia’s age, when greater understanding of the world around them and concepts of empathy are becoming more fully formed, can be particularly sensitive to such things. Just be aware of that in the future.”

“Of course,” Amy says as Jake nods vigorously.

And so, on the 31st, Jake and Amy are sat snuggled on the couch, with a bad horror movie ready to play and mugs of hot chocolate warming their hands. And a bowl of candy ready for trick-or-treaters.

It’s pleasant, Amy thinks. “I’m so tempted to go to the heist right now,” she says.

“We can’t!”

“Mia’s not even here, she doesn’t ever have to know.”

“I still can’t believe she abandoned us to go trick-or-treating with Cagney and Lacey and Ava, we’re awesome at trick-or-treating!”

“I know! Our baby girl is growing up.”

“So the heist?”

“No, you’re right, we can’t. She’ll find out and then she’ll feel left out and she won’t tell anyone the next time she’s upset about something.”

“Cool, cool, cool.”

They watch the movie. Amy laughs at Jake’s commentary and temporarily forgets about the heist entirely.

Jake and Amy both get up when they hear Cagney knock on the door, ready to great them and admire their respective candy hoards.

The last thing they expect is Mia grinning, holding up a trophy and exclaiming, “Suck it, losers!”

“What…what is happening?!”

Mia grins smugly, “I won the heist!” 

Amy flitters between absolute outrage and absolute pride.

(And part of her is annoyed with herself because she really should’ve seen this coming. After all Mia has inherited all of her competitiveness and all of Jake’s competitiveness).

Before she can formulate words, Jake says, “Our baby girl really is growing up!”

“I know!” she replies, before turning to Mia, “Well played, congratulations!”

“Yeah, congrats! You earned this!” Jake adds.

“Thank you,” Mia says, doing an elaborate victory dance.

Amy hovers in Mia’s doorway that night, “You know your dad and I love you very much and we’re both very proud of you, not just for today.”

“I know mum.”

Amy continues, “Having said that. At next year’s heist, I’m going to destroy you.”

Mia smirks. “Not if I destroy you first.” 


End file.
